“Returning home is the most difficult part of long-distance hiking; You have grown outside the puzzle and your piece no longer fits.” ― Cindy Ross

I was lying in bed thinking what’s the point to it all? I’ve made and make so many sacrifices in life for what? I’m going to die just the same as the person that doesn’t make sacrifices, why do I put these restrictions on myself, don’t do this, don’t do that, do this, do that – it’s all bullshit, karma, past life, this life, next life does it really exist? Or is it just a cruel joke to keep us going in that hope that we will reach nirvana someday?

Sometimes I feel as if I’m going mad, maybe I already am?! I’m trying to understand this insane world we live in and life but the more I think the less I understand it just doesn’t make sense.  Perhaps some things aren’t meant to be understood, but if that were the case then why would the question(s) rise?
Perhaps if you surrender and accept you will understand or perhaps that’s when you die because there is no more wondering what it’s all about.  Maybe it’s the curiosity of life that keeps us alive and once that is exhausted – game over.

The other day I had an interesting experience; I walked a labyrinth with an open mind and heart.  I started on the journey seeking an answer (as always), trying to understand.  I started walking around and around, the more I walked the more I became frustrated because the answer wasn’t coming.  I was walking around like a fool in circles seeking an answer, who was I kidding.  I started focusing on the walk and I got excited because I was one ‘lane’ away from the centre of labyrinth, “This is it, this is where the answer is just keep going almost there.” I continued walking and much to my surprise it took me farther away from the centre – again, I was lost walking in circles, extremely annoyed with myself and the situation.  I almost gave up and walked over the hedge but I persisted and then I noticed that I was entering the centre of the labyrinth.  I sat down on the little bench and smiled.  There was my answer, the closer I thought I was the further away I was, the farther away I was the closer I was.  All I had to do was trust the path would lead me to where I needed to be.

As I was lying in bed frustrated with so many things in my life I smiled because I remembered my labyrinth experience, like that walk, I should just trust that my journey in life will lead me to where I need to be, everything else is irreverent!  So with an open mind and heart I continue wondering in the labyrinth of life hoping that one day I will reach the centre and have my answer.